One-night stands , whether it's a homosexual encounter or not, we've all had them and we'll have them again. It's the same thing for meetings in Paris, as well as meetings in Brussels , it's great and there's nothing wrong with wanting to do yourself good through sex , as much as that's clear, but what remains after carnal pleasures ?
Testimony of a first date during a gay meeting in Paris:
Charles, lives in France (Paris), is 24 years old and works in the field of communications. He is looking for a serious relationship rather than a fleeting one. After having had several meetings on traditional gay sites (we all know Grindr, Planet Roméo or other classified ads sites), he responded to a call for witnesses to confide in complete privacy.
He told us his story, here it is:
“Let's be honest, the first time I saw a gay ad, I had just come out . I knew I kind of liked girls but I still had doubts about being gay or bi .
Facing me; a charming young man who was homosexual . I met him on one of the dating apps including those I mentioned above, but also Tinder, Taimi, Himoon ,...
I started by chatting then discussing with this man and, yes, he had the chat , I remember that he was older than me (2 years more mature than me). He had a tan complexion with light eyes. We quickly got in touch and went to a Thai restaurant after work to get to know each other better. During the meal, everything was going well, we talked about our sexuality and we laughed about a gay experience he had had.
The evening goes so well that he invites me to have dessert at his place. I was so happy that for a moment I believed in gay marriage that I had come to look for on this famous homosexual ad . Then… he literally jumped on me! Imagine my amazement at the time of the incident. I'll spare you the details but I told him that I wasn't interested in anonymous sex and that I wanted to take my time. He was all excited and seemed a little pissed off, he literally wanted to 'sex me ' he told me. That's when I decided to turn around and head back home.
Although disappointed by this mishap, I was nevertheless happy to have been faithful to my principles. Finally, I told myself that I would no longer want to have these kinds of bogus classified ads and that the next one would be the right one. No way was I ready for this kind of first date! »
Not all encounters have a sexual side.
Be sure, not all applications are the same and in our beautiful LGBT community (and elsewhere in France and Belgium for that matter) there are always people who want and are looking for quality encounters . You just need the right friend, the right application or the right social network , in order to avoid misunderstandings as detailed in the testimony above. Besides, if you want advice for your first date, this article will surely interest you.
There are quite a few good dating apps that can offer you a gay date or meet people with the gender identity or sexual preferences you want. Indeed, some inclusive apps welcome all people represented by the LGBT flag or rainbow flag .
Don't they say that two personalities are already a story? A love story begins much more often with a friendly meeting and a friendship than one might think.
To avoid having a funny incident like our dear Charles, be clear from the start and don't be afraid to say no.
6 ways to avoid being his date:
As discussed above, sex is fun and entertaining – as long as it's what you want. But there comes a point where we want to be more than a fleshly shell.
We cross our fingers and hope that somehow they will see the person you really are. To achieve this, we give you 6 ways to avoid becoming someone's sex plan :
1. Don't go too fast, take your time
Sometimes some people may be insistent on leaving the dating app in order to have your personal mobile number. Make him/her wait, what's the point of rushing, we're never sure of the intentions they might have towards us. Only respond to him if you feel like it. We all love sex and one-night stands, however it is not by giving in to his whims that he will end up becoming attached to you.
2. Trust yourself, you are a good person and you deserve love
Whether you are confident in yourself or not, you are always better than you think and you should never let anyone convince you otherwise. We humans have a tendency to denigrate ourselves or not appreciate ourselves as we are, when that is precisely what will attract the right person.
Once again, being someone's date can be great if that's what you want, but being one while hoping that the other person will fall in love with you is more painful than that. 'something else.
3. Don't talk too much about sex or sext
How do you expect them to really get to know you if even before the first meeting you start exchanging sexts and talking about your deepest desires?
Try to really get to know the other person and talk about your desires without it getting out of hand and monopolizing the conversation. Believe me, a person who refuses to take the time to reveal themselves is never worth it.
4. Don’t pick up your phone after 11 p.m.
You have nothing on the agenda but all of a sudden, they want to see you but only at a late hour. You can be sure that it's not to read you a bedtime story or just 'have a coffee'.
Answer him the next morning around 10 a.m. with an innocent look. There's a 9 out of 10 chance that they'll have had a fun evening and it will take a while before they come up with something original to respond to you.
If they move on to someone else, there's no problem, probably the game wasn't worth the effort. If they are unable to make a 'suitable' date with you, you shouldn't dwell on it.
5. Go out, but stay dressed (no sex)
Do other things together, outside of the sexual context. Outing to the movies, a coffee on the terrace, a walk in a park, nothing extravagant, just you and your personality and getting to know each other… without nudity.
6. Stop everything while you can!
...at least, if you follow at least some of this advice and he continues to act like a doormat. The sexting and the two-bit violins, at some point it's too much. If they can't see the person you are then it's time to leave. At least you will have had the last word by leaving this dubious character behind and believe me, you will certainly find something better!
Will you be his plan A (love) or his plan Q?
You will understand, it will mainly depend on you! Whatever the case, before taking action, don't forget to protect yourself and have sex as safely as possible. That said, some gay apps and LGBT social networks facilitate real meetings and attract an LGBT community (lesbian, gay, trans and bi) who emphasize personality rather than physique.